itty bitty gritty one (mimulus_arbutus) wrote in rogues_gallery,
itty bitty gritty one

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of dead animals in the house....

originally posted in my lj sometime around thanksgiving, here is the lovely tale of things in the basement that shouldn't be there....

there were 2 dead animal bodies in our house yesterday, and only one of them was the turkey dinner....

yeah, that's right, there was a dead cat in our basement.
ok, first let me clear this up, our "basement" is more of a hole in the ground under our house. the stairs leading to it are accessed from the back yard. the floor and walls are dirt. there are large holes, through which many critters gain access to the nasty pit. it's only real purpose is to house our water heater. it's scary and stinky and dark and i've only been down there once and swore to never go down again.

ryan went down on thursday to turn up the water heater, and was half-scared to death upon discovering a dead cat. so last night his friends took it upon themselves to relieve us of the body. [it must be noted that they were not intoxicated.] the 3 of them manned an expedition down the creaky, cob-webby, dirty stairs. lee (who used to work at the humane society so was used to handling dead animals) took my work gloves to grab the cat, while eli held the biggest plastic bag we could find and nick provided lighting with 2 mini-mag flashlights.
on the way down someone began mentioning the scary things that could be hiding in our basement (the steven king creation "it," for example), and apparently the smell was quite overpowering. as lee grabbed the cat, he had to pull it from the earthen ground-- apparently it had frozen in place with its back legs splayed out sideways and it's tail sticking straight back. the noise of the cat being ripped from the dirt freaked out nick so badly that he took both his flashlights and ran back up the stairs outside to safety. i don't exactly know HOW lee and eli managed to get that cat into the bag without any lights, but they managed it, and eli marched up the stairs with bits of the cat sticking grotesquely out of a shopping bag. he proceeded to our garbage can out by the front door and mashed the cat in the 3/4 full can with a broken hockey stick, making him look very much like a psycho from a scary movie. we then threw the turkey pan (and meat-free carcass) and a bag of garbage on top and locked the lid on and dragged it out to the curb a day early.
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