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The Axis of intoxication

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8th February 2006

mimulus_arbutus10:06pm: you guys all fucking suck. you all got livejournals, joined this community, and then dissappeared! where are you, BIIIITCHES?? none of you have updated your journals in like a year now.

you make me cry.

and i'm sure you will never see this. i hate you all! (please come back)
Current Mood: lonely

31st August 2004

mimulus_arbutus12:32am: why doesn't anybody post here anymore! come on, guys!

ps- book 5 of the dark tower made me mad.
Current Mood: pensive

20th July 2004

juanvaldez31612:22am: Ah, memories of high school
Here is a lovely pic of my high school. I thought I would share it since I don't have any stories of my own to tell people.

They don't call us the Ass Rammers for nothing

I don't know who did it or who even took the picture, so don't ask. Just enjoy...

30th June 2004

mimulus_arbutus8:08pm: weird
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a [...] </a>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<a href="http://www.sabbatum.com/sound?sess=f8421c76ab43c247f65df1dd7cfc0655"< this </a>is certainly one of the strangest bands i've come across in a while....
black sabbath sung in latin and played on medieval instruments.
Current Mood: surprised

26th June 2004

mimulus_arbutus6:07pm: Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

on that note, i have an announcement:
we finally decided on a name for our bunny- capn jack sparrow! (jack for short)

also, if anyone is ever driving though newport, stop at the rogue brewery, go up to the bar, and take a picture of their neon sign that says "rogue gallery" !!
Current Mood: bouncy

10th June 2004

lourdek10:02pm: Scott's Birthday
It was sometime in june last year. like the 14th or something... almost a year ago...
Scott's birthday was actually back in may, but we were having a late party for him.

Anyway, I brought fifths of Jaegermeister and Vodka.

Read more...Collapse )
I wish I had some pictures from that not-so-memorable night, but they are on the old NWSR server and scott's hard drive that imploded. I might have some in Portland. I'll check next time I go down if I remember

26th May 2004

mimulus_arbutus6:40pm: of dead animals in the house....
originally posted in my lj sometime around thanksgiving, here is the lovely tale of things in the basement that shouldn't be there.... Read more...Collapse )
Current Mood: nostalgic

22nd May 2004


Ok, so, now that I get to this part of the story, I realize (in true sucky-storyteller fashion) that I don’t remember many of the details of the actual night. Anyway, I’ll throw it together as best as I can.

Anyway, the night started out somewhat normal. A bunch of us started drinking. I believe that I was doing vodka and redbull shots, but I can’t say for sure. So I get pretty lit up and we decide to walk up to the deli where Lee is working. I just want to mention this right now, I did not smoke weed at all this day. Ok, so I’m fucking drunk already and don’t remember much about this part, but apparently I was being a real fucking asshole (character flaw / emotional problems). Apparently I was giving Lee a bunch of shit because he wouldn’t serve any alcohol to the minors who were with us. I think the deal was that when you’re fucked up, you want as many other people as possible to be fucked up with you, so from my asshole perspective, if the others couldn’t drink, then we were wasting our time there.

So we have been there for a while, I believe I ordered a pizza, but forgot about it, so everyone else ended up eating it. Now they definitely pulled some kinda magic trick on me, because all of a sudden they were all gone. I can’t say I blame them, because apparently I was acting like a dick. So I walk home, and when I get back to our apartment I meet up with our friend Karl. He doesn’t know where anyone is, and I don’t know where anyone is, so after a couple beers (I think) we decide to go back up to the deli and see if they have returned.

Now then next part I don’t actually know for sure because I was blacked out from all the booze, hell, for all I know none of it even happened (yeah I wish), but I will draw from what Karl told me. During the long (2 block) walk there I decide I have to take a piss. Well, it was probably more of a fact then a decision, however if I had been in more control, I might have realized that we were within 100 yds of the deli, which had a bathroom. I was drunk and stupid however, so I decided that pissing on a car in a parking lot would be better. Now our school hires off duty police officers to drive around our campus, and keep a look out for car thieves, and whatnot. Unfortunately, when I was pissing, there was one parked quite near, so this cop had a front row seat to watch me take a piss on a car. He didn’t seem to find the humor in it, so he got out and began to talk to us.

Memory Flash: I remember suddenly realizing I was in the back of a cop-car. I noticed that I wasn’t handcuffed, so I thought about making a run for it. I realized that was fucking dumb, as they had probably already looked at my ID, and were questioning Karl who was being an outstanding citizen by only telling them the truth. It was no wonder I was in the back of the car, I was reportedly being a dick to the cop, and was probably too drunk to give any useful information.

Now, if we were lucky, the cop would have said, “Oh, you’re both over 21, this guy in the car has had too much, take him home and put him to bed.” We were not lucky. The cop calls campus safety and 6 campus safety people come over to take control of the situation. They ask us if there is any alcohol in our rooms. I apparently say “No, ‘CAUSE I DRANK IT ALL,” while Karl admits that there is. The 6 campus safety officers are going to take us to search our rooms. Now, if we had been remotely lucky, the cop would have realized that he was unneeded at this point and gone on with his patrol. We were not remotely lucky. He decides to come with us.

They first search Karl’s room, which for some reason had very little alcohol in it. They pour it out and write notes for their report. Then we moved on to my place, the Penthouse, home of the broken policy.

The first thing they see when they come in, is our toy guns on the coffee table. We legitimately thought that there would be no problem with having these on campus, being that they are toys, and can’t possibly hurt anyone, hence, why they were sitting out on the coffee table. We were wrong. I notice everyone’s voices get louder and a little more tense. “We’ve got four firearms sitting out in plain sight, they say.” I explain to them that they are toys; they examine and find the same.

I won’t go into too much detail about the search, because if you read the first part, you should have some idea of what they found. I will mention a few things though. First of all, at this point, I was the only one there, and even though I didn’t give them permission (they probably don’t need it, but asked anyway) to search the other guys’ bedrooms, they did so anyway. Keep in mind that there are 6 campus safety guys, and a cop, all to keep an eye on me, who has been sitting on the couch the whole time. (Overkill?). According to their report, they searched my bedroom and found explosives (AKA an unopened pack of legal fireworks I had been saving. I kid you not though; in the report it was explosives. HANDGUNS AND FUCKING EXPLOSIVES!! WHAT AM I AL-KEIDA OR SOME SHIT??!!) Anyway, they didn’t find the pot, or the pipes, or the 3-foot bong, yay! Not yay. They decided that I had to be hiding more stuff, so they were going to search my room again. THAT RIGHT, MY ROOM IS FUCKING IRAQ, SO MORE SEARCHES MUST COMMENCE. Anyway, they found the weed and pipes. Now, a cop is not allowed to search your place without a warrant. He is however allowed to sit there while his campus-safety lap-dogs bring him everything they find. So the normal campus policy when they find a bit of weed is that the school punishes you, and the cops are not called. Unlucky me, Mr. Cop is in our apartment already and the campus safety guys seem almost giddy when they present him with the find. I am technically arrested, but the released to my home. AKA nothing happened, except on paper I was arrested.

Some words about the cop. I can’t decide if he was nice or being a dick. On the one hand he should NOT have been involved with the apartment search, and he was yelling at me constantly the whole night. He kept pointing to things and yelling “IS THIS STOLEN??!” and basically doing dick cop kinda stuff. On the other hand, he didn’t charge me with public urination, after he arrested me, he released me to the apartment, so I wouldn’t have to go to jail, and he didn’t charge us anything for the stolen road signs.

So here we are. I have just gotten myself and my friends in trouble with the school, and got myself in trouble with the law as well. Isn’t life beautiful? I tell you, you think a hangover is bad? Imagine a hangover, plus all this happening the night before, plus all your friends being pissed at you not only because you got them in trouble, but because you were being an ass the night before, imagine all of that going on and having to call your parents and tell them what happened, and that you might need a lawyer. Imagine a sentence that goes on forever.

Anyway, (and I know I say that a lot), I’ll finish up this story in PART 3:THE AFTERMATH

Bonus story: We had a shopping cart in our apartment that we used to move our stuff in and out as well as for taking out trash and recycling. Anyway, I had unscrewed the handle and scraped off the paint that said “Marketplace” and placed a small piece of paper with our room number on it. So during the raid of our apartment, the cop yells “IS THAT SHOPPING CART STOLEN?!” one of the campus safety guys say “No, it has their room number on it.” And they leave it be. Heh, score one for me.
captain_cold12:38am: Eli’s Account of The Greatest Write-up Ever Told
Alright folks, what follows if the first part of my incoherent ramblings about possibly the greatest write-up our school ever gave out. I proofread this thing, but I’m sure it’s probably filled with mistakes. Anyway, here it goes.


The story of our write-up begins all the way back in the summer of 2002. That’s assuming you don’t credit my severe emotional problems and many character flaws, which probably began much earlier. Anyway, that summer, I was taking a German class at Portland State. You see, I had to take classes during the summer so I could have an easy fucking schedule during the actual school year. It was also a nice excuse to not have a summer job. The thing about taking German during the summer is that it was incredibly easy, however, you didn’t end up being able to retain anything you learned because of the rushed nature of the summer class.

Anyway, because I really didn’t spend much time studying for the class, I had a lot of time to do fun shit. I would frequently drive up to Tacoma to hang out with Lee, who was living in a house with somebody else, I don’t even remember whom (character flaw). Anyway, We’ll get back to Lee and his mystery roommates later. Earlier in the summer, I think it was before my class started, I went down to OSU to help my friend Jack move. Jack had a couple of cool AirSoft Pistols. These things looked and felt like real guns, but shot harmless yellow pellets. Being a big time wanna-be gansta, I loved these things. I thought about how bitchin’ they would be the next year living with Lee, Ryan, Ax and Fred. So naturally, I went out and bought four of ‘em. (Actually I bought five, but the fifth one (the uzi) broke, so it doesn’t come into play here, so, for all intensive purposes, I had four handgun-looking toys). Anyway, I brought them and a target up to Lee’s one time, and they were a big hit, so, naturally, I brought them up to school when fall semester rolled around.

Now, with the five of us all living together, naturally we needed to have some sort of theme going on in our place. That theme was alcohol. Yes, we liked to drink a lot, especially me. If I’d see anyone else with a drink in their hands, I would say, “What?! We’re drinking tonight? Why didn’t you tell me?! This usually ended up in me being a bit to quite a lot drunk, while the other person, having given up after their one drink, would be doing homework. Now I wouldn’t say drinking affected my studies, because I most likely wouldn’t have done that homework anyway. I mean, I hate fucking homework! It was always some useless bullshit that I cared nothing about (character flaw again *sigh*), so I just didn’t do it. But this isn’t about me and homework (homework and I?), this is about being bad. The point I’m trying to make is this: There was a lot of fucking alcohol in our place most of the time.
Ok, I just Realized that a lot of people reading this might need some backstory, so it’s time to:


Alright, most of the people I’ve mentioned so far, in fact all of them except Jack, go (went) to PLU, AKA Pacific Lutheran University. I won’t bore you with specifics, so here’s what you need to know. There is one room on campus that will facilitate 5 people in it, and we fuckin’ got it. It was a bitchin’ room, 5 bedrooms, 2 bath, a kitchen and a big ass living space. The best part is, MINIMAL RA INVOLVEMENT. Basically, you have to go out of your way to get written up. Now, with other colleges, I’m sure there’s been more extreme write-ups, but for ours, I think it was the best (at least without getting any of us kicked out of school). By the way, if you can believe this, alcohol is NOT allowed on campus.

Anyways, back to the story, (if you are still following, congratulations!). Besides the alcohol, I smoked a lot of weed. Now, sometimes it was with the guys, but most of the time it was by myself. I would smoke a little every night before I went to bed, it just felt so… Good! Anyway, after everything, people said that because I smoked it every night, I had a problem with weed, but I’ll get to that later (how about that, a cliffhanger. Who said it, was it one of my friends, or just some stupid douche-bag).

Ok, so, so far we have weed, alcohol, and toy guns in our apartment. Now, I’m going to flashback to the summer of 2002. Why didn’t I mention this shit earlier when I was talking about the summer you might ask? Well, because I forgot about this shit, of course, and because I have a degree in English, and I know that if things are hard to follow, most likely they are genius.

So during the summer, Kristin, Ryan and I went up to Tacoma to visit Lee. We were going to go camping at a campsite called ‘The Promised Land’ in the town of Humptulips (That’s right Hump-Two-Lips. I know its humor on a base level, but I fuckin’ like it). Anyway, while we are camping we all got drunk, except for Ryan, well, all I know, he was sober enough to drive… We decided it was time to get some fuckin’ road signs. I mean, we are out in the middle of nowhere, whose gonna care, right. We got a Highway 101 sign and one that said ‘Donkey Creek Road.’ We somehow ended up with a couple others, but these are the only two I remember actually getting. So naturally, when we went back to school, we hung them up in our apartment.

Also during that summer, Lee worked for the Humane Society. There he met two ferrets that were to be put to death. I don’t know if it was supposed to be hanging or electrocution, but I do know Lee couldn’t bear to see them die. He adopted them, and they joined us the next year in the five-person apartment that we affectionately called ‘The Penthouse.’ (Get it, Pent = 5, Ah Hell, you got it). Did you know that we aren’t allowed to have pets in our apartment?

Ok, back to the school year, we got, alcohol, pot, fake guns, road signs, and pets. I think its time to move on to: Part 2: THE NIGHT OF THE WRITE-UP.

21st May 2004

mimulus_arbutus1:19am: Welcome to the Rogues Gallery!
We kick ass!

Current Mood: excited
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